Learning the Hard Way: Will I Ever Learn?


I have made yet another mistake.  This time, it was a big one, and I  lost one of my dearest friends because of it.

My mother says I am stubborn; I prefer the term “independent”.  Whatever term you prefer, I have always done things my way.  I can remember as a child doing chores my way and getting in trouble for it.  You would think I have learned from past mistakes, but I haven’t.

I will not go into detail, but I did something recently that hurt a friend.  Let the record shot that I did not intend to hurt this person.  While I wish I could take back what I did, unfortunately, I can’t.  This was a case of  me not thinking before I did something, plain and simple.

I have had the chance the past few days to think about my life and the direction it is headed.  I have had the chance to think about past comments on my self-esteem, behavior, etc.  I did not like what I saw.  Then it hit me like an anvil: I can not be angry anymore.  I am angry about my job situation, I am somewhat jealous about what others have, and I am angry about money.  I can not control any of this.  I need to let go.

With this new-found knowledge, I am working on me.  My self-esteem is slowly on the rise.  I am working on being happier.  I definitely have learned from this mistake.  Maybe this time I will learn.


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