A Time for Healing

When I saw the Let’s Blog Off topic of Thanksgiving memories, I must be honest when I say I wasn’t too pleased.  I decided to forge ahead (this is therapy, you know) and participate anyway.  Maybe someone will finally understand why I am not a fan of the holiday.

There are a couple of warnings.  First, this is in no way a ploy to get sympathy.  Like I said, this is my way of (hopefully) getting someone to understand me.  Secondly, these experiences do not make me the proverbial crazy.  They are a part of who I am.

1996 – I was single and pregnant, much to the chagrin of my parents.  I just finished college and didn’t have a decent job.  The baby deserved a better life than what I could provide at that time, so I decided to put the baby up for adoption.  The baby’s birthday?  Wednesday, 27 November 1996, the day before Thanksgiving.

Fast forward to 1997.  My phone rang around 7:30PM on 20 November 1997.  It was my mother telling me that my grandfather passed away from a stroke.  This was quite unexpected.  Grandpa had not been sick and showed no symptoms of any illness.  Ironically, my paternal grandfather passed away this same day back in 1971.

Ten years later, a similar situation.  My mother called me around 11:00AM on Thanksgiving 2007 (22 November).  She stated that EMTs were working on my father.  I threw on a clean pair of jeans and jumped into the car.  Don’t ask me how I made it to the hospital because I don’t know.  All I know is that the usual one hour trip to my parents’ town took half that time.  I walked into the ER and saw my mother in the condolence room.  I knew it wasn’t good news.  She said that Dad didn’t make it.  He passed while I was on the road from a massive heart attack.  And guess who had to call and tell my brother in NYC?  Me.

Thanksgiving should be a joyous time, but for me it isn’t.  It is a time of reflection and healing.  I think this year I will sit back and have a glass or two of chardonnay and celebrate the lives of those that I have lost.  I know Dad would approve.


13 Responses to A Time for Healing

  1. Paul Anater says:

    Thanks for putting all of this out there. I hope that by giving it a good airing out it will lighten your load a bit. Keep your wits about you as you head into another Thanksgiving.

  2. Anne Lubner says:

    No wonder Thanksgiving is not a favorite! Ironically, your Thanksgiving losses should help everyone else be more thankful for how precious their loved ones are. I hope this year you get to enjoy some happy memories and create some new ones too.

  3. […] Good’s – Thoughts of a Splinter Girl Becky Shankle’s – Eco Modernism Betsy DeMio’s – EgrGirl’s Bob Borson’s – Life of an Architect Cindy FrewenWuellner’s – Urbanverse Posterous David […]

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sean Lintow Sr. and Paul Anater, Betsy De Maio. Betsy De Maio said: Here's my #letsblogoff contribution. Thanksgiving is a time for healing. http://wp.me/p166vJ-F […]

  5. Thanks for sharing- good reminder for me that everyone approaches days differently. Remember those that may not get to be around this year and cherish those that do!

  6. Amy Good says:

    Hoping that you find healing this year and learn to create more joyous traditions for the day. Thanks for being so transparent.

  7. Ginny Powell says:

    First let me say I think you are brave for writing this post. Secondly I hope you start a new tradition of going on a European vacation and screw this time of year! Wishing you good wine, a good read and good music on Thanksgiving.

  8. Joseph says:

    Wow, that’s some heavy stuff. I can certainly see why Thanksgiving is not going to be on your list of fun holidays.

  9. Betsy, whew, thats so sad. hang in there. hope that it was helpful for you to share these stories. take care, cindy @urbanverse

  10. Bob Borson says:

    So Thanksgiving is a day of reflection for you. We all need that day, thanks for sharing.


  11. Thanks for being so open about that and I truly hope you can find something that can ease your mind during this difficult week.

  12. Saxon Henry says:

    With so much loss associated with Thanksgiving, it’s got to be a tough time but it seems as if you are approaching it perfectly: not brushing aside the grief that comes from losing those you love but remembering them and celebrating who they were to you in your life. Hope your day will be healing for you as you sift through your memories. As you pop the cork and have the first glass of wine, toast yourself for having the courage to tell your truth: it’s a big deal!

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